X-Men '97: Lessons Learned on Friendships
You may have noticed that I’ve been slacking for a few weeks on putting out newsletters and now that X-Men ‘97 Season 1 is done BOOM, newsletter!
It’s no coincidence.
I’m writing this as I’m going through a little bit of withdrawal from being able to watch my weekly dose of 90s nostalgia. Typing through the tears! Just kidding, I’m not crying, but I am anxiously waiting for season 2!
X-Men ‘97 was great for more than just the storylines, renewed excitement in the marvel brand, and hope for good future movies.
It became a reason to connect with friends on a weekly basis
I work a lot. Making time for for friendships has never been at the top of my list. I know this is a character flaw I have and as weird as it might sound, this show helped me realize it even more.
Every week I was excited to watch the latest episode & then connect with a few friends to geek out over this week’s craziness.
My Friendship Decline Isn’t Unique
A study done the Survey Center on American Life shows that the number of close friendships has been declining over time. The stats for men are even worse than for women. Only 27% of men in 2021 reported they had at least 6 close friends, compared to 55% in 1990
Why Do Friendships Matter?
Few great articles to read on this:
Why Friendships Among Men Are So Important(7 Min Read)
Why most men don’t have enough close friends (6 Min Read)
Alone and lonely are not the same (5 Min Read)
Bottom line, we need friends to help with mental health & to prevent loneliness. Men even more so. Here’s 2 other interesting statistics/studies to look at:
“Gender differences in grief narrative construction: a myth or reality?”
Published in November 2021 to the National Library of Medicine surveyed 50 bereaved widows/widowers (29 women, 21 men) to understand how the groups dealt with life after their losses.
Women: typically received greater support following a loss
Men: greater levels of loneliness and depressive symptoms
Why? Women maintain greater friendships over time then men do & have a better support system
“CDC: Leading Causes of Death in Males: 2018”
Not to dampen the mood even more, but it’s going to get a little worse before it gets better in this week’s newsletter. Let’s look at the top causes of death in males by age group.
Source: CDC “Leading Causes of Death – Males – All races and origins – United States, 2018”
For men under 45, 50% of deaths are either accidental or by suicide. After that it DRASTICALLY changes to 50% of deaths being cancer or heart disease.
Don’t Worry There is Some Hope!
I’ve heard a lot about these statistics and how important it is for people, especially men, to foster healthy friendships, but it took a resurgence of my childhood to really feel that excitement again.
30 minutes a week that helped many of us to reconnect with friends.
Even though this newsletter talks a lot about me and my experience with a single TV show, that doesn’t mean this only applies to me. The ability to connect with friends is important for everyone’s mental health
It’s not about the quantity of friends, but the quality
Your friends should be people you connect with along the path you’re on. You may go through seasons where you outgrow some individuals and need to find new ones.
That’s OK
A real friend is someone who should share common goals or values. Someone who builds you up and constantly pushes you to feel better, do better, and be better.
The real ones will also help call you on your bull shit 😎
This week’s newsletter is not designed to be a Debbie Downer post or a reason to be depressed. It’s meant to make you aware of some harsh truths in life. Some that I still need to remind myself of.
The things that seem important today are not necessarily the ones that will be with you in 50 years.
ALSO - go check out X-Men ‘97. It really was that good. Feel free to reach out if you need a friend to talk to about it. (see what I did there?)
One Final Thing! 👋
I really love hearing from you guys and am always looking for feedback. How am I doing with this newsletter? Is there anything you’d like to hear me talk more (or less) about? Which aspects of the newsletter do you enjoy the most?
Hit reply and even just say hi!
I’d love to hear from you & I respond to every email!
Thanks for reading!
~ A.J. Zampella ✌️
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Little about who I am and what I’m here to do:
15 years in tech & 20 years as a DJ
Mid-career professional trying to thrive in work and life
I spend 100s of hours figuring it out so you can learn in <5 minutes a week!
Other Interesting Things Around the Web I do:
Free DJ Sets/Mixes on Soundcloud - Yes I still DJ pretty often too
#AJsBookClub - Big Book Guy. We talk about “success focused books”
Grim & Grind - My clothing line, all things Creepy & Caffeinated