What Is Success?
This is a question that has plagued me for some time now. What is success & what does it mean to be successful?
Depending on who you talk to and what their background is, you might get wildly different answers. Is there one overarching definition? One ideal that we’re all supposed to be working toward? Or is it something simpler than that, maybe even something much more elegant.
We need to ask a lot of questions first and think about our current definition and then we can get in to what I believe is the real definition of success
What Does the Dictionary say?
According to Dictionary.com, the “Success” is defined in a few different ways:
The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.
the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
a performance or achievement that is marked by success, as by the attainment of honors:The play was an instant success.
a person or thing that has had success, as measured by attainment of goals, wealth, etc.:
Break it Down
There’s a lot more to these than what is on the surface and it’s really freakin important that we understand that. The slightly OCD side of me wants to go in order from 1 through 4, but instead, we’ll jump around a little.
Attainment of Wealth, Position, or Honors
In my, not so professional, opinion, definitions 2 & 3 are the same thing just with different words. I don’t know how you get away You are successful if the world tells you you’re successful.
What level of wealth defines success?
Again if we look at the strict definition wealth is a great quantity of money, possessions, or property. So to be considered wealthy you need a lot of money or a lot of stuff. Or what AJ likes to call “dope shit”.
Big house, fancy cars, boats, and all the cool toys that most people can’t afford.
What about position, what positions define success? CEO of a Fortune 500 business? Pro-Athlete, Movie Star, Famous Musician? How about those jobs your parents told you to work toward? Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, Teacher, Accountant, etc. Do these make you successful or do they just make it easier for your family to brag about to their friends or co-workers?
Honors. I don’t even know what to say about this one. We live in a world where everyone gets a trophy so what honors are important enough to be considered successful?
Person or Thing that has had Success
Fucking inspirational definition.
When I was a kid and was taught how to learn & define words I thought you were never supposed to use the word in the definition. Circular references never help anyone understand things better. So if you wanted to make this dictionary definition more confusing. you were a success, or were you?
(see what I did there)
Next!
The Accomplishment of One’s Goals
Finally! A definition that starts to make a little more sense and get us to where we need to end up. Obviously you need to have goals to be able to accomplish them, but this is the only definition that is solely driven by YOU and what YOU want to do with your life.
Too often we let the rest of the world decide what we should do and when we should be happy. The image we have shoved down our throats on a daily basis is that we all need the latest tech or the hottest cars. We need to be showing off on social media and making others jealous of our lives.
Is that real success? What is real success?
AJ’s definition
SUCCESS = BEING FUCKING HAPPY
I can’t say I own this definition or that this is an original thought. However, I can say that it was a revelation for me. One that it took me some time to come to grips with and that frankly I’m still trying to work on. It’s a mind shift. It doesn’t mean that you can’t do all those other things, it just means that you need to do those things because they are YOUR goal and they bring YOU happiness.
In trying to understand how to be successful (or what we know now is happy), I’ve come across some pretty common themes. Some common tenets of success & happiness in life. Areas of focus that we should build our goals around. Not everyone will have the same and not everyone’s will carry the same weight. This is why success is hard to define at the macro level and we need to understand and define it at our own micro level.
AJ’s pillars of “success”
Like my cheesy pillar image?
Again, these are just mine. I just recently started using these as the basis for how I set my goals and how I figure out what I want to do in order to find my own success. The things that are important to me today. Over time these will absolutely change. As you grow your focus areas and goals NEED to change with you.
I’m sure some of my items will resonate with you, others might not. At a minimum I hope that they get you thinking enough on what is important to you and how you can better define and achieve your own success.
We’ll start with the obvious and end with the MOST IMPORTANT!
Money & Finance
While tremendous wealth and riches might not be what you really want in life, money and finances are still important. You need to survive and thrive. You need to be able to provide food & shelter for yourself and your family. This should include a look in to your cash flow based on your income & expenses.
I include investments under this umbrella too. What my goals are for any stocks or portfolio investments, real estate, crypto, investing in businesses, and how to diversify and keep myself bullet proof in any financial environment.
The fact that people don’t talk more about money and money management was always strange to me. It’s one thing if you don’t want to discuss or be honest with others, but it is NOT OK if you can’t be honest with yourself. Know that you have a lot more control over your finances than you might realize. It’s not always easy, but there is a way
This is actually a big focus area of my goals for the next 5 or so years, so I’ll be sharing a lot in this area.
Business/Careers
For most people, “The Job” is their primary source of income. This could be working as an employee, small business owner, or owning/overseeing a company as a business owner. No matter what your involvement in your business or career, there should always be goals for growth. Just like a tree or flower, you’re either growing or you’re dying!
Health & Wellness
For some this only covers how you look in the mirror, but there’s more to it than just that. While it should include your physical fitness, it also needs to include your physical & mental health. There is a lot more to health & wellness than just what can be seen by the naked eye, The internal parts are just as important if not more!
Relationships
Romantic, family, friends. These are all important relationships that we can’t let fall to the wayside. Much of my focus over the years has been on my career and I know I have neglected a lot of my relationships over time. I’m pretty lucky that I have some awesome friends and an absolutely amazing wife, but it’s time for me to let them know that I see how lucky I am. On top of that our son was just born a few months ago and I’ll be dammed if I miss out on any opportunity to spend time with him!
Self Development
The best investment you can make is in yourself. I know it’s cliche, but it’s still 100% true. Some areas of self development to consider are how to improve your positive & growth mindset, be more productive in your daily tasks, learn a new skill to help in one of your other areas of life. Go read some books, take a course, find a coach or mentor and be willing to be teachable.
One final piece of this that might be the most important part of your self & self development is your emotional state. Everyone has a ton of shit going on at all times. We try to balance everything. You can spend as much time as you want becoming stronger and tougher, but make sure to recharge & go grab a drink with some friends. Find a hobby or a creative outlet for yourself and do something expressive. For me, DJing was (and still is) a big part of my life. The party can be fun, but it’s always been very grounding for me to be able to go and play music for people and help them have a great time. Unbelieveably rewarding.
Summary
YOU define your GOALS, HAPPINESS, and SUCCESS. Don’t let others tell you what is important or what you “should” do. At the end of the day it’s yourself you need to look in the mirror.
Now go figure it out and
