The Self Help Hoax: 7 Tips To Spot and Avoid the Hype
So, funny story…
The other day I was walking through the city and someone just randomly stopped me and offered to help give me tips for a better life and gave me advice tailored specifically to me so I could go and be more successful! He told me exactly how I needed to live life and even gave me tips on how to maintain a better mental state!
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.
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Yea, ok…so that shit didn’t happen. It doesn’t happen to anyone.
So, if no one is going out of their way to help you who will? You will. You need to help yourself first before you someone else can help you. At a minimum, you need to at least admit that you need help so you can go ask for it.
If help comes because we ask it or go seek it, it seems like “Self Help” is what we should call it? But why does that sound like such a dirty term these days?
The Self-Help Hoax
Unfortunately, over the years “Self Help” has gotten a bad rep. It is often associated with unproven or pseudoscientific advice, motivational speaking, or extremely expensive seminars with lots of yelling, singing, jumping around, holding hands, and lots of frankly cult like shit…
These types of resources can be seen as exploitative, preying on people's insecurities and lack of understanding about a particular subject. They typically promise quick fixes for complex problems:
"10 easy steps to becoming a millionaire this week"
"5 secrets to finding inner peace before dinner"
These end up being overly commercialized with false or exaggerated claims in order to sell you something that in the end will not change anything
Self-Help is also often sold as the idea that someone can fix something themselves, indicating a solitary and individual journey without the need of guidance or help from others.
While this all sounds great, the truth is it might be a quick fix, but it’s not lasting change…
Personal Development: Self Helps Wiser & Better Looking Best Friend
Self-development is generally received more positively because it is often associated with a more holistic and evidence-based approach to improving oneself. Personal development is often seen as a more collaborative and communal process, involving therapy, education, and mentorship. It's often focused on addressing specific problem or issues, and the solutions are tailored to the individual and not a general population, it also goes deeper into understanding oneself and one's motivations.
Additionally, the language and messaging used in self-development is often less hyperbolic and more realistic. Personal development resources are often presented in a way that is more informative and educational, rather than focusing on promises of quick and easy solutions. This is likely why personal development is often seen as a more trustworthy and credible approach to self-improvement.
Another reason for why self-development is received more positively is because it's often associated with education and self-awareness, building skills and knowledge, self-reflection and taking responsibility, which are all are seen as positive qualities and attitudes that are desirable to have.
7 Tips to Avoid The Self-Help Hoax
It’s easy to write out the difference between the 2 in a blog post, but how can you put it in to practice? Below are a few tips on how to find good, reliable self development resources. You want to make sure you spend time focusing on the right journey and not just sending a check to some guru every week.
Look for Credentials: Check a person’s background. Look for resources that are written by authors or experts with credible qualifications and experience in their field.
Check for evidence-based information: Look for resources that are based on sound research, scientific studies, and evidence-based practices.
Be wary of quick-fix solutions: The internet is full of “click-baity” videos & articles because it has to be to grab your attention. But, be wary if people are truly promising a quick fix. Real change takes time.
Be Critical: Is someone truly trying to teach you something or is it part of a bigger agenda?
Look For a Balance of Theory and pPractice: EXPERIENCE. This is huge to me. I love to read and learn theory, but you can only truly learn from someone who has DONE something.
Be Open to Different Perspectives: Be open to different perspectives and approaches, personal development is not one-size-fits-all, what works for one person may not work for another.
Ask Someone You Trust For Recommendations: Find someone you trust and ask them for help. For me, I started a Facebook group to find new books to read. (shameless plug - ignore tip 4 here)
Conclusion
Bottom line, it all starts with the desire to want to improve. There are a TON of great free resources from people who want to help because they love it. Find someone you enjoy and give them a follow. Different coaches will resonate with different people. If you really enjoy someone’s content see if they have something worth buying or a seminar to see them live.
Self-Development doesn’t mean you don’t have coaches or don’t go to seminars, it just means that you should be seeking something realistic from someone who has experience.
Don’t expect growth to happen overnight and don’t expect it to be easy. Some of the biggest changes we make in life come from being brutally fucking honest with ourselves. THAT is when real change happens.
Feel free to reach out to me on social media with any questions. I don’t have a ton of content myself at this time, but I’m always happen to point others to some resources that I know, trust, and have great respect for.
Until Next Time!
-AJ Zampella