Breaking the Taboo: Why It’s Time To Start Talking About Money
Money & Finances - 2 words that strike fear in to the hearts of men and women everywhere. But why is it such a taboo topic? Is it because we're all secretly living in a constant state of financial ruin? Or is it just too darn boring to talk about?
Money seems like such a dirty thing to talk about these days. It’s up there with politics and religion for things you don’t discuss at the dinner table
If you’ve read my post on “What Is Success?” you know that Money & Finance are what I consider the most important of my “Pillars of Success”. The fact is that if you can’t have an honest conversation about money and your finances then it will always have a hold over you that you cannot break.
So, let’s dig a little deeper in to why this is such a taboo topic and how we can break free.
What makes it a Taboo topic?
Have you ever felt weird about telling someone your salary? For better or worse it feels like a reflection of who we are and what our skills are valued at to the world. For better or worse, it can feel like a measure of our own self worth.
Money and finances are also often tied to an individual’s security or stability in life. For some financial insecurity can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and a lack of control over one's life.
Not having enough money to pay for basic needs like housing, food, and healthcare can cause a great deal of stress, and can also limit one's ability to pursue other life goals. On the other hand, having financial stability and security can provide a sense of freedom and opportunity, and can make people feel more in control of their lives.
It may seem like an antiquated view of the world, but I’ll tell you that as a man, I have often felt significant stress and pressure to make sure that I am providing a good life for my family. And if you ever feel like you’re not, it can almost feel like you are not being “man enough” to take care of your family.
But, my views are not everyone elses, so why is our relationship so complex?
Our Complex Relationship With Money
Morgan Housel wrote an amazing book called “The Psychology of Money” (check the summary here) that does a great job covering this exact topic. An individual’s relationship with money is based on their specific personal experiences and interactions with those around them.
If your parents fell on hard times due to a bad investment in the stock market or real estate, then you may grow up thinking that these are things you should absolutely steer clear from!
Someone else may have the exact opposite experience growing up and insist that the stock market and real estate are the only paths to financial freedom!
The influences in our individual lives can lead to 100 people having 100 completely different views on money and finances. If that’s the case, how can we make this topic less taboo and be able to talk about it?
You NEED To Talk About Money
There have been several studies that suggest that people who talk openly and frequently about money and finances tend to be more financially successful.
A study, conducted by researchers at the University of Cambridge, found that people who talked openly about money with their friends and family were more likely to be financially successful. The study found that people who talked about money regularly were more likely to have a budget, to save money, and to have a clear financial plan.
Researchers at the University of Arizona and the University of Georgia found that couples who reported talking openly and frequently about money were more likely to feel financially secure, had higher credit scores, and were less likely to experience financial stress.
For married couples, especially, talking about money is crucial. 2 of the most common reasons for divorce are:
Financial Problems
Communication problems
This just proves that it is EXTRA important to be able to have open conversations if you are married or in a committed relationship.
Let’s talk about how we start to Break he Taboo!
7 Steps to Help Break the Taboo & Stop Being Awkward About Money!
Start Small: Starting small and discussing less sensitive financial topics before moving on to more sensitive ones can help to build trust and make it easier to have more open and honest conversations about money.
Lay out some ground rules: There will be things that you may never want to discuss, or need time to warm up to the idea. That’s OK. Lay out clear topics that are safe for discussion and what’s off limits
Be honest & transparent: When discussing money and finances, it's important to be honest and transparent about your own financial situation. This can help to create a more open and trusting environment, and can also make it easier to identify and address any financial issues that may arise.
Keep perspective: Remind yourself that financial situations and how we handle money are constantly changing and evolving and that it's a common challenge that many people have. Don't let feelings of shame or embarrassment prevent you from talking openly about money and finances.
Set Financial Goals: Setting specific financial goals, such as saving for a down payment on a house or paying off credit card debt, can help to focus the conversation and make it more action-oriented. This can also help to make the conversation less abstract and more concrete.
Increase Financial Literacy: Educate yourself. Your ability to learn and develop is the best investment you can make in your life and future. Taking the time to educate yourself about personal finance and money management. It will help to build the confidence to have open conversations about money and finances.
Keep the conversation going: Schedule regular check-ins: Set a regular time, such as once a month or once a quarter, to discuss money and finances with your partner, family, or roommates. This can help to make the conversation less sporadic and more routine.
Conclusion
The topic of money has been demonized for too long and we need to break this taboo.
A major pillar of success is our ability to understand and have control over our money & financial situation.
I will always advocate for continued education, reading, and content consumption, but we need to find people to talk to about money. Everyone has a different perspective on finances and learning from others is the only way to open up our understanding so we can become more confident in this topic.
As a father (still pretty new as of when I wrote this post), I fully plan on talking to my son about money as early as I can.
Just like anything else in life, once you can get past the fear about a topic like this you can conquer it and make it work for you!
Until next time!
-A.J. Zampella